


Just Breathe

by ryleewrites



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, MerAdd, meddison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryleewrites/pseuds/ryleewrites
Summary: What would have happened if Addison - not Derek - had been the one to follow Meredith into that supply closet.season 2, episode 15 "break on through"
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 27
Kudos: 122





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I just started watching Greys Anatomy all the way through and I got to this scene and..... I just couldn't help myself. I know I am a little late to the Greys ferryboat (Ive seen an episode here and there but never the whole thing), but hopefully people will still enjoy this little canon divergent smut piece. 
> 
> Also, just a quick disclaimer that I don't have a beta reader or anything like that so there may be some silly spelling or grammar mistakes. Sorry in advance.
> 
> Okay, I'll just let you read it now.

_“Time of death, 12:42.”_

Meredith could hear the words coming out of her mouth as she stared down at her watch, but she didn’t really feel like it was her saying them. She was trying not to think, trying to be clinical about this. People die. It was okay to die. It was okay for Meredith to let the old woman die. The old woman wanted to die. Her friends and family had said their goodbyes.

Her friends and family.

Meredith turned on her heels and walked out of the room. She was never very good at being emotionless. In fact, Cristina might say she was the queen of overthinking, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t what this was. She could feel her chest tightening as she made her way out into the hall, and her breaths began to feel labored. So she started to focus on her breathing, but that only seemed to make her breathing worse. And she needed to get out of this hallway before someone saw her. So she did.

But Addison had seen the intern exiting the patient’s room, and she had begun to make her way toward her husband’s ex-girlfriend. Despite herself, she found that she was kind of drawn to Meredith Grey, and she wanted them to get along. So she made her way toward the younger woman, but just as she was about to call out her name, Meredith dipped into a supply closet.

There was a brief moment of hesitation in which Addison had to decide what she was going to do. On the one hand, she knew that something was probably wrong. Personal experience in supply closets told her that much. But on the other hand, it seemed an invasion to insert herself into the business of not only an intern, but this intern in particular. In the end, reason was tossed out of the metaphorical window. Addison grabbed the handle of the supply closet door.

Meredith heard the door open, but at this point she couldn’t focus on who was there or why. All she could focus on was how hard it was to breathe and how much she felt like there was an elephant sitting on her chest. A flash of red hair passed in front of her. 

Addison sat down beside her husband’s ex. She wasn’t really sure what to do. She hadn’t really thought this far ahead. She hadn’t really thought at all, so why start now. She placed a hand gently on Meredith’s shoulder.

That touch was all it took for Meredith to completely break down. Her eyes shut tight and her breaths became even more ragged as she began to talk incoherently to whoever was listening. 

“I can’t… I don’t… I can’t… I can’t… I dont want my mother to die alone,” she finally sobbed out.

Addison knew she was probably talking about her mother, but she figured that probably wasn't too pressing at the moment. What was important was getting Meredith to breathe. So, the older woman began rubbing soft circles into Meredith’s shoulder with her thumb and speaking gently. 

“Shhh. Slow down,” she said to the woman nearly hyperventilating next to her. “Slow down.” And her medical instinct began to take over as she started to coach Meredith’s breathing like she might a woman in labor. But the only labor here was emotional, and she reasoned that there probably wouldn't be a miraculous, happy ending.

“Slow deep breaths. In…. Out…. In... “ Addison continues. 

Meredith listens to the soothing voice next to her. In. Out. She tries to breathe, but it feels like there isn’t any air and she doesn’t think she can breathe on her own so she reaches out to grab the hand that wasn’t already on her shoulder. 

Addison was a bit surprised when she felt Meredith grip onto her hand, but she didn’t think to let go. She gave the hand in hers a little squeeze and tried not to think about how soft the younger woman felt or how their fingers fit together perfectly.

Meredith's breathing slowed. Her eyes were still closed as she began to regain some awareness of her surroundings. The hand she was holding tightly. The thumb burning circles into her shoulder. And Meredith could pretend she didn’t recognize who it was next to her, but she knew deep down that there was only one leggy red-head roaming these halls. Maybe it was because she had already embarrassed herself, or maybe it was the tingle she felt moving from her hand to the back of her skull, or maybe it was stupidity, but something possessed her to lean over into Dr. Montgomery-Shepard. She knew what she was doing.

Addison watched as the small brunette's head slowly moved toward her before making contact. A shock ran through her body, and she had to admit that this wasn’t the worst feeling she had felt. But she was married, despite how little attention Derek may or may not pay to her. So, she held tight to Meredith's hand in hers, wrapped her other arm around the intern, and tried not to think about the soft breaths against her neck.

Meredith didn’t know how long they sat like this, basically embracing, before she sat up slowly and opened her eyes. She had intended to both apologize to, and thank, her ex-boyfriend's wife, but when she looked over at her, no words came out. All she could do was stare into the blue eyes that were much closer than she expected them to be. 

Addison noticed when the green eyes locked on her. How could she not with eyes like those. But she didn’t know what was going on in Meredith’s head, so she tilted her head and offered a slight smile in an effort to ease any tensions she may have inadvertently created. This seemed to work, because finally, the younger woman blinked. 

“I’m okay,” Meredith said with a sniffle, even though she was pretty sure neither of them believed it. 

“You’re okay,” Addison responded, as though maybe if she says it back, it will become true. 

Meredith reached up to wipe away a few of her tears and, without really thinking, Addison also raised her hand to move an errant piece of hair out of the other woman's face. By the time either woman processed what was happening, it was too late. Addison's hand was already brushing behind Meredith’s ear, and Meredith was already leaning into her touch. Neither pulled away.

“Thank you,” Meredith said in what could only be classified as a whisper, her eyes begging the other woman to understand. 

And Addison gave her another smile, because she did understand. Completely.

“You’re welcome,” the redhead whispered in response. Their eyes were locked again, but this time there was something else lingering behind both women’s stares. 

Now was the time to back away. Either of them could get up and leave, and for a brief moment, Addison thought Meredith might. But she doesn’t. Neither of them do. 

Addison’s gaze flickers to Meredith’s mouth, where she is biting her bottom lip. 

Meredith leans in a little closer, and Addison’s breath hitches a little.

“Slow, deep breaths,” Meredith barely whispers, quoting Addison's own advice from earlier. “In…” she says, taking the opportunity to lean in even more and really inhale Addison (she smells like vanilla and apricots). “And out…” she continues exhaling a cool breath.

Addison doesn’t realize how frozen she is for this entire exchange until she becomes acutely aware of how close Meredith is to her and how their lips are nearly touching and how she can smell lavender.

_Fuck it_

Addison closes her eyes and closes the gap between them. 

Time seems to come to a halt for a brief moment, and it seems as though the entire world is hanging by a string, a string which two women in a storage room just sliced with a scalpel. So now the world must plummet into oblivion.

Time starts again, and they begin their descent.

Meredith's lips are salty, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to Addison after she had just watched the brunette cry. But she smiles a little into the kiss and savors the taste. Addison brings her hands up to cup Meredith’s cheeks, wiping away any remaining tears, and she can’t help but feel that kissing Meredith is like the first downpour after a long drought. Refreshing and liberating.

Meredith feels Addison’s fingers on her cheeks like ghosts of a flame. She feels hot all over and every touch brings a new intensity. Meredith wonders if maybe this isn’t real. Maybe she is trapped in a wildfire and this was all a hallucination from inhaling smoke, because why would this woman be kissing her. Meredith thinks she likes wildfires. They are destructive, but they are necessary for the ecosystem to survive. But this isn’t a hallucination, and the only fire here is the one that Addison lit inside of her.

Meredith parts her lips ever so slightly as an invitation, and Addison takes it readily. A soft moan escapes the younger woman's mouth as they move closer, Meredith maneuvering so that she is now straddling Addison. They continue to kiss each other, slowly and purposefully. It is at this point, the redhead thinks she may be high on kissing Meredith. It was dangerously addictive. No wonder Derek fell for her.

_Derek._

Suddenly Addison realizes the extent of what she is doing. How she has sent the world crashing into space. She wasn’t just kissing an intern. She wasn't just cheating. She wasnt even just kissing Meredith Grey, a beautiful, intelligent, magnetic woman. No. She was on the floor of a supply closet, making out with the woman her husband loves (loved?) and enjoying every second. It would be easier to say she was doing this out of spite, or even just to see what she was missing. But she wasn't, which made it so much worse.

“Dr. Grey…” Addison says, almost inaudibly as she pulls away and begins to stand up. “I’m sorry. I was - That was very out of line. I didn’t mean to -” she fumbles as she moves toward the door. Dr. Montgomery-Shepard was usually much more put together than this, but her mind felt a little fuzzy at the moment. She was nearly at the door when she felt a hand grab onto her wrist, causing her to stop in her tracks. 

“Addison.”

Meredith is staring at the back of a head of red hair and honestly she doesn’t know what she’s doing but she knows that if the woman in front of her walks out that door, she will never kiss her again. And she can’t bear the thought at the moment, but she doesn’t really know what to do. So, she does the only thing she can think. Meredith Grey isn't a beggar, except when she is.

“Addison, please.”

Hearing her name a second time is enough to send chills down to Addison’s core. She shivers, and slowly turns back around to face the woman behind her.

“Meredith,” she says, letting the woman’s name roll off her tongue. Her tone is warning, but she can tell that the look in the brunette’s eyes is already wearing down what little resolve she had managed to scrape together.

“Please,” Meredith repeats and swallows hard. When Addison doesn’t respond, she resigns and moves to release her grip on the redhead’s wrist. But before she can, Addison’s hand grabs onto her wrist, so that they are holding each other in what an unsuspecting passerby might interpret as a handshake. An agreement. 

Addison looks at Meredith’s lips and nods her head slightly. It's all Meredith needs. 

She steps forward swifty and presses the redhead against the door through which she had nearly just left. Their bodies are flush against each other when lips collide again. Both women could have sworn they saw fireworks.

Addison is acutely aware of the wood pressing against her back and the woman pressing against her front and the intoxicating taste on her lips. She doesn't have much mobility in her current position, but she manages to manuver her arms around the brunette and grab on to the back of her neck, pulling her impossibly closer.

This elicits a small gasp from Meredith, which somehow morphs into a moan. She can feel the older woman's thigh in between her legs, and she knows her thigh is in the exact same position, so she rises on her toes a little and grinds up into Addison, earning her own moan in response. 

The sound of their moans in harmony and feeling of Meredith’s leg pressed against her core does something animalistic to Addison. She moves her hand up a few inches, massaging her hands into Meredith's hair for a moment as they kiss before suddenly tightening her grip and pulling on the dirty blonde locks.

Meredith’s groans as her head falls back with the gentle force of Addison’s pull, exposing her neck. And Addison is quick to make use of this free real estate. She trails kisses down the intern’s neck before sucking on a point just above her clavicle. 

Addison’s kisses burn into Meredith’s skin and light a fire in her core and she has to do something. So she does. She moves her hands down to Addison’s waist and slips them under the hem of her shirt to make contact with warm skin. Addison inadvertently shivers as fingers move across her abs and Meredith smiles into their kiss. She made Addison Montgomery shiver. And she wanted to do it again.

So, the brunette moved her hands father up, feeling the rise of Addison’s scrubs and undershirt as they bunch higher and… of course she’s wearing some fancy lace bra. But Meredith can feel that the hook is in the front and in one swift move, she has unhooked the other woman's bra and begun ghosting her thumbs over already hard nipples.

The feeling of Meredith's cold fingers against her tits sends a flood of lust through Addison’s body. She can’t help but let her head fall back against the door in a light knock, breaking their kiss. Meredith almost gets concerned at the lack of contact, but then she hears a strained voice.

“God, Grey,” Addison nearly whimpers. 

“You can just call me Meredith,” the other woman replies, almost giggling at her own joke. 

“Fine... Meredith,” Addison purrs, lowering her eyes to meet the brunette’s gaze. And Meredith swears she has never heard her name sound so perfect.

“Are you going to fuck me, or should I go back to doing paperwork?” the older woman continues. At that, Meredith seems to remember where her hands are. She moves her thumbs again, eliciting another groan from the redhead.

“Yeah,” Meredith replies breathily, “I think I am.” 

Lips meet again, not as softly as the first time but not as desperate as the second. Meredith feels Addison tug at her top, and so she leans back a little to allow it to be pulled over her head. She does the same to Addison’s top, and a pile of clothes begins to matriculate on the floor. Two scrub tops, two undershirts, a bra, a second bra, shoes, two scrub bottoms.

And Addison and Meredith are practically spinning around the room, kissing against nearly every surface in different stages of undress as they remove each item of clothing. 

Addison moves her hands all over Meredith's body, from her shoulders to her lower back, and up her sides. But no matter how much she touches, she can't get over the feeling of the cool, almost marble skin underneath her.

Meredith can hardly concentrate on anything but the feeling of Addison’s hands all over her body. So she doesn’t. She tangles her fingers into red locks and just lets herself be felt for a moment. Shoulders, back, breasts, arms, stomach.

However, when Addison’s warm hands trail toward her heat, Meredith seems to snap out of it, as though a new fire is ignited inside her, and she begins to trail cool kisses down the other woman’s neck, then down her chest, from one breast to another, then farther down her toned stomach and finally to the hem of her lace underwear.

Addison has to grip on to the metal shelf behind her as Meredith kisses her through her thong and she feels as though this woman might have the ability to turn her into a puddle because, god, if that didn’t leave her soaking wet. 

Meredith could feel how wet she was through her underwear, and knowing that she was the one to do that to Addison was only more of a turn on. So, her cool fingers wrapped around the strings of the thong. Dark, green eyes were locked with blue as Meredith pulled the underwear down, painstakingly slow. And now Addison was the one begging.

“Please.”

Meredith, now fully on her knees for this woman, is happy to oblige. She takes Addison into her mouth, relishing in the heat that she created and breathing in the moment. She lets her tongue do most of the work, moving her hands to the back of the older woman's thighs. Addison shivers again as she feels Meredith’s tongue flat against her slit, and nearly chokes as the younger woman begins to focus on her clit.

The sensation is somehow both hot and cold as she sweats against cool metal. Her knuckles are now turning white from her grip on the shelf but she thinks if she let go she might collapse, so she holds on for dear life. Meredith's tongue is moving in circles and Addison thinks there is no way she has never done this before but that doesn't matter right now because she can feel her climax building. Her grip tightens. And then she feels a finger at her entrance.

“May I?” Meredith questions, letting her voice vibrate against Addison's core. 

“Yes. God, yes,” she replies desperately. The younger woman looks up at her, cocking her head slightly at the response, and somewhere in Addison's mind she registers what the woman wants but mostly all she can focus on is the loss of the pressure on her clit. So she responds with the only word her brain can formulate.

_“Meredith”_

And all at once Meredith’s mouth is back on her core and one finger is slipped inside her and it's all Addison can do not to scream. The sensation is overwhelming and for a moment, the redhead thinks she might cry. But she doesn't. She climaxes instead.

“Mer, I - Fuck!” Addison yelps, releasing one of her hands from its death grip on the shelf and smacking it over her mouth. 

She thinks she might be seeing stars as she moans into her palm. She can feel her whole body quivering, riding out the orgasm until Meredith finally takes her mouth off of her and pulls her finger out from inside her. 

Addison takes shallow breaths as she attempts to recover, but she can feel Meredith trailing kisses back up her body and she finds it's still hard to breathe. She opens her blue eyes to see Meredith’s face in front of hers, and she can't help but want to wipe the cocky grin on the intern's lips. So she kisses them. And she can still taste the salt, but now she can also taste herself and she can't think of anything better. 

Meredith is beyond satisfied with herself. She had just made Addison cum. Hard. Addison-freaking-Montgomery, the ruler of all that is evil, had cum against her lips and Meredith considers that she might like being Satan’s mistress a bit too much. But all those thoughts disappear when she feels Addison’s hand snake between them and toward her sex. She sighs into the kiss as the hot touch slips into her panties. Meredith is pretty sure she has never kicked off her underwear faster.

Addison teases her fingers at the brunette's entrance, rubbing them up and down her folds and ghosting over her clit. She likes the way the younger woman opens her mouth just a little and whimpers into their kiss whenever she does. Meredith is writhing beneath her touch and it is quite possibly the sexiest sight Addison has ever seen. She can't take her eyes off of it.

“Addison,” the younger woman finally pleads, “Fuck me.”

And so she does. Addison slides two fingers into Meredith, and she can feel the younger woman’s arms, which are now draped around her neck, tighten slightly. She begins a slow, steady rhythm, in and out, finally putting all of her knowledge of the female anatomy to good use. And she relishes in the feeling of fucking Meredith Grey.

“Faster.”

Addison obliges, speeding up her pace and shifting her hand ever so slightly so that with every thrust, her palm would rub against the other woman's clit. This development seems to please Meredith, based on the profanities she begins to mumble. 

The two women continue like this, a tangle of two bodies writhing together, with their lips locked and Addison’s fingers inside Meredith and it is momentary perfection. Meredith can't help but think that in their current position, McHot could not have been a more accurate name for the other doctor. Because Meredith feels like she might be melting under her touch.

Addison begins to pick up the pace even more and Meredith can feel her core tightening. The redhead then bites down on Meredith's bottom lip softly, a movement which makes Meredith moan, before pulling back and meeting the younger woman’s gaze.

Their eyes hold tight to each other as Meredith begins to climax. It iss probably too intimate. They probably should avoid eye-contact during orgasm for plausible deniability. But they are beyond the point of no return, and so they hold each other's stares until Meredith’s eyes are forced closed from pleasure. When Addison is sure she's finished, she removes her hand from inside her. But she doesn't pull away completely.

And then Meredith sort of collapses into Addison, shifting all her weight forward and burying her face into the redhead's neck. The older woman instinctively wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist to steady them both, and they stand, embracing just like that, for what feels like a small infinity. 

Then they pull away.

It isn't really awkward as they both put their clothes back on, handing each other their underwear and deciphering whose scrubs were whose. It's a comforting silence. Like they had both just become a little more whole and a little less lonely. Maybe they had. 

Meredith wants to thank Addison. For being there for her, for staying, for everything. But somehow she knows she doesn't have to. 

And Addison wants to tell Meredith she would be there, if she ever needed her again. But she was pretty sure that was a dangerous move, so she says nothing.

On her way out of the door, Meredith turns back to look one last time at the other surgeon.

“Mere… Dr.Grey,” Addison says, with a curt nod of understanding and a soft smile playing at her lips.

“Dr. Montgomery,” Meredith replies, mimicking the other woman's nod before finally turning and exiting the room.

Addison follows a few minutes behind her and both women go about the rest of their day as though nothing has happened. As though the world hasn't just fallen from its place in space and exploded into a million beautiful pieces. 

* * *

Addison had nearly drowned. And Meredith had kissed fire. 

And neither of them regretted it.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> Hopefully, I was able to get the characters at least a little bit right. I'm not sure why I wrote this all in third-person but its already done, so there is no going back now! 😆
> 
> Maybe leave a review if you have any comments or even constructive criticism? I might make a part two, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated 🥺🥺🥺

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ten Times That Addison and Meredith Got Groceries Together](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25204729) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)




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